As I finally get over my illness, get back into work and start focusing my energy on the passions of my life (oh and did I mention Toby has been MIA for the last 3 weeks? Yeah, so I’ve had a lot of alone time to think) I’ve been contemplating and thinking about some of the mental blockers I have that I feel prevent me from living my happiness life.
#1 – It’s not easy to be happy
I hear it all the time! That you should always do what makes you happy and that focusing on your happiness is most important. But what if your happiness results in sadness for those around you?
I’ve made a lot of decisions in my life that weren’t always what make me most happy, but it worked out finding a compromise worked out being the healthiest for me. And maybe that’s a process to work out in itself. I may not be the happiest with some choices, but I know the decisions I make are in the best interest of those I truly love to death and I’m not going to lie, leave me feeling a lot less guilty.
#2 – Dwelling on things you can’t change is wasting your energy
And yet I still do it anyways, though I think over time I’ve gotten better. And the only way I’ve managed to do this is by distracting my mind and creating new positive habits and ways of thinking. E.g. Every time something bad that happens to me bubbles up, I’ll make myself think about my cat. Cheesy I know, but it really does over time become a habit. And seriously, my cat can never make me sad! It’s impossible! (Pet owners will understand this!)
#3 – Insecurity is often the root of all problems
I think every emotional / mental issue I’ve ever confronted within myself can be traced back to being insecure. And it’s also the reason for why I react to things the way I do (aka defensive). If I feel like I’ve done something wrong, I internalise it death and feel like the world’s worst human. If a friend makes a comment that was insensitive towards me, I dwell on it forever. And I think it’s because I really suffer for low self-esteem and am generally very insecure.
If I were more secure, when I’ve done something wrong I could easily just brush it off as “oh well, humans make mistakes” and move on! If a friend makes an insensitive comment, I could just brush it off as “that’s their issue / opinion, not mine” and move on! Something I’ve been working on, and something I’m slowly getting better at.
Though I’ll be honest and say that part of what I view as my success is learning to train my mind to work in my favour more, but also doing what I can to move away from negative situations.
#4 – Having a passion can be life saving
How many times have I felt terrible, but came home to either blog, work on YouTube videos, play with makeup / planners or whatever else I’m feeling passionate about and ended up completely forgetting I was even upset about something till a day later? Almost all the time!
This ties into #2 really well, the best method to stop dwelling on things is to focus on the things that make you truly passionate.
#5 – You attract what you are
I have/had a terrible habit of whinging and complaining. I feel like the only way for me to “get over” issues I have is to rant or vent to those close to me. And it seems harmless, except it’s not. You end up attracting like minding individuals and it can become a bit of a toxic mix if you are a negative person.
On the other hand, if you are positive (which I force myself to be in some environments) it actually pays out! Positivity attracts positivity and I find myself automatically wanting to spend more time with positive people, but most importantly it makes me want to stay positive.
I heard a quote, “You are the average of the 5 closest people in your life” on a podcast I was listening to and it really struck a chord with me. Imagine how happy / successfully you could be if the 5 closest people to you were the most amazingly kind, positive and successfully humans on earth? It makes you think about the energy you put out to draw back the people you want in your life.
If you guys have any personal lessons you’ve learnt I’d love to hear more about them 🙂